27th sunday B

Once a teacher in English asked her sophomore class what’s the word denoting a marriage with many wives. A student answered, “Ma’am, polygamy.”

“Correct,” she said. “How about a marriage with two spouses?” Another student replied, “Ma’am, bigamy.” “Correct,” the teacher said, “And how about a marriage with only one wife?”

A student raised his hand and blurted out, “Ma’am, monotony!”

He meant “monogamy,” of course. However, unwittingly his answer touched on a problem in marriage, which is monotony.

In the gospel of this 27th Sunday, our Lord teaches that marriage should be monogamous, permanent and indissoluble.

He said, “From the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and the two become one flesh. What God has united, man must not divide. The man who divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery,” and vice versa (Mk 10:6, 9, 11).

This teaching of Christ forms the basis of the Catholic Church’s teaching against absolute divorce.

Admittedly, there are numerous trials and problems in marriage but they outweigh the problems of broken families and separated spouses.

For instance, it’s been found that many of the youths coming from broken families have anti-social and behavioral problems. And one reason is due to lack of parental love and supervision.

Aside from the traumatic experience of separation suffered by the couples and children, divorce is a simplistic way of resolving marital problems. Couples who resort to divorce because one of the spouses is lazy, irresponsible and a drunkard is only transferring his/her personal problems to another marital relationship — if he/she does not change his old traits and vices. So, it’s recycling personal problems, which will lead to another divorce.

What should be done is to work out couple’s problems and save their turbulent marriages as far as possible.

For instance, when acrimonious conflicts crop up inflicting emotional wounds, it is important that the wound be treated with real sorrow, which goes with a resolve to reform; otherwise it leaves a permanent scar.

This reminds me of a story about the parents of one of our priest. his parents who quarreled a lot when he was a kid. When the mother couldn’t take the abusive words of the father anymore, she would leave home and go to her aunts’ house to cool off.

The father, who had a Spanish blood aggravated by high blood, would regret his mistake, and would drop by the aunt’s house and tried to woo back the mother. The reconciliation would start a happy family reunion.

As the saying goes, “A happy and lasting marriage is the union of two forgivers.”

There are other valid grievances which make the Christian teaching on marriage a hard pill to swallow at times. However, there is value in fidelity which outweighs the difficulties of married life.

Isn’t it an immense joy and fulfillment to feel if, despite all the trials and difficulties, a couple persevere and see their children grow to become good parents someday?

As the Lord said: “He who is faithful until the end will receive the crown of glory."